i don't know how she does it....

I have never seen this movie but when it came out people...many people...made comments about me..... "is this about you or what" and I get that all the time..."I don't know how you do it" and I smile and look down and think geez....if they only knew what my bedroom looked like today.....or that I have washed the clothes in the washer three times because I can't seem to get them out and in the dryer before they smell funny.
Maybe it's because they don't really know me....Maybe because they only see my Facebook life...I am not sure. I guess, in their defense,  they are seeing this.....

 A day with PTA planning.....

hours spent at School volunteering....

 T shirts made for Juvenile Diabetes Walks......

 and one whipped up in the morning for my Middle Schooler......

 Little girls that match head to toe.....

 XC Mom duties fulfilled......for 100 kids I love to death...

 there to cheer on my kids at every step....

playdates.....

 and nights out....dolled up.... with a best friend who loves me more than life....

 and a man who loves me more than life.....

 So how does "she" do it? 

 I don't know about "she" but I don't, people......I don't.

I struggle every day.....everyday.....and my life ....and my self are so far from perfect it's funny! My life is crazy....crazy. I am talking CRA-CRA......but wonderful too.  All the above pics are are real...I did all that....I do all that....but when you are rocking something out...something goes by the way side...it just does....I don't care who you are.

While I was pressing t shirts for the diabetes walk.....the shoes got out of control.....

 While I was working so hard on Cross Country stuff....an entire bag of mismatched socks happened....

 While I was doing PTA stuff.....the 4th of July decoration wait for me in the hall.....still....waiting to be put away......it's knocking on September....

and a tote that was dropped off to my front porch 3 weeks ago....sat out side for a week and now has been inside for 2 weeks...right by the front door...it may be a permeant fixture...it looks a little like an table for an entry way....right?

 and forget the ding room...that is always piles...and piles..... of to do...to take....to organize....

 and the steps are always filled with stuff to take up or take down.....

yesterday I found that my body was with a fever and I was achy from head to toe....I literally could not move.

I don't do it all.....I just don't. No one does....no one can.

 Most days I am without make up....but WITH the people I love most......and yes I had my hair done for the Pink Tie Ball last weekend...but before that...the last time I had my hair styled for an event was my wedding day...13 years ago.

  I spend my days....taking care of the people I love and the friends and people and organizations they are involved in....that's why we love Goshen and North.....and XC and OC Tigers...and Gym tyme.....and give them our time and our hearts.....it's just all part of an extension of the love I have for my children. It's how I roll...it's what my hearts knows...and makes me happy.

 As moms we are all doing the best we can every day....... and every day brings a new challenge...every day has a new focus...a new need that steps forward....kicking and screaming.... saying "take care of me first!!!"    Maybe it's a Kindergarten girl who is struggling with separation from home and moma....a middle school runner who is struggling to perform and is starting to worry and wonder....a little boy who misses his friends....a dog with an ear infection....a lonely great grandma....all of this which sits on top of the other commitments you heart has....its just a pile....and you sift through it and take care of what matters most.....and at the end of the day the pile is always still there...it never ends or has a bottom. And that is why the 4th of July decorations are still there.....I will eventually get them put away....hopefully before Halloween! :) I know I am not "she" ....I am just me....doing the best I can....struggling and faltering every step of the way...but as long as I am doing it with love...well......I am good with that...and I hope after you have seen my bag of mismatched socks you are still good with me too. :)

lucky & loved

I was having a rough day....I just was....a little teary....a little overwhelmed...and Lila just gets that...she seems to know even though I don't say it.....So she wrote me a song/poem about how sweet and kind I am and that I am the best moma in the world....and she wrote it down for me so I could remember every word. ;). Lucky and loved....that's me for sure.

An American Girl Christmas

My girls love their dolls...especially their American girls. It's an American girls Christmas for sure!

 I down loaded the pics from my camera and there were 25 plus pics the girls had taken of their American girl dolls.

I asked SK why there were so many pics of their dolls on my camera? She said....they had dressed them, fixed their hair, played with them, fed them, loved them, and taken their pictures to remember the day with their dolls.....we love our dolls like you love us, Mom.

Oh.....SK...I love you so.....

Happy Birthday, Moma!

Halloween time is also the season of my mom's birthday! We were lucky enough to have her birthday fall on a cold, rainy, Friday, fall night....so we all gathered in our comfies to say cheers to my moma on her birthday!

 We had a cake...but she made her wish on a pumpkin pie!

 My littles love her oh so much.....truly they adore her...and they are so lucky to have such an amazing Gran Gran!

 As the night grew dark we fired up the inferno and told ghost stories.....

 and made, fire lit Halloween memories.....

 It was the perfect way to celebrate Moma and Halloween....Friends and Fall!

my apologies to Miss Thing......

One of Riggs'  buddies came into the kitchen the other day and said..."I saw that picture of you at the top of the stairs, Mrs. D...you look so different.....when you were young"

I smiled...because I adore this kid...and then walked in the other room and gave a deep sign to shake it off...shake what off, you ask?

Shake off Reality.

So this is me....on a typical no make up day with "miss thing" smiling over my shoulder...

"miss thing" was younger....and prettier....and she had time time to straighten her hair and money to buy make up at the mall. She thought she was busy with three little ones but she had all the time in the world....she just didn't know it then.  She went to the doctor regularly....exercised a bit....and was 8 pounds heavier. She didn't have laugh line around her mouth or lines on her forehead. I am pretty sure she had her own sock drawer too. So what happened to "miss thing"? Well she had another baby....and added a dog to the list of things to take care of. But then busy really began....as she fell in love with motherhood and every little piece of it...like the school her kids go to and the teachers who teach them and put her heart into that in many ways. And then she fell in love with Cross Country and the amazing little hearts who run so hard and she put her heart into that. And then swim team....and a t-shirt business...and as the kids grew so did the fun things she wanted to do with and for her kids. And before she knew it her heart was in so many places...but all places she wanted it to be. "miss thing" was gone.....too scattered....
 So I am not "miss thing" any more...she was over rated any way. And I guess I am just now realizing this....that's the funny part. I am happier now with 4 littles and a dog. I  was awarded those laugh lines and wrinkles on my forehead from laughing and smiling. I can think of worse scars to have for sure. My grocery store make up seems to be good enough...when I find time to wear it and who needs a sock drawer when you can just wear your sons' socks.  I am older for sure...not as pretty...not as put together...but also not as worried about it. My closet is empty but my heart is full. My time is taken but I feel far from robbed....as I spend time doing things I love with people I love. Parts of me have been lost...but the parts that matter...I mean the ones that truly... really matter... have been found...the package is just not as pretty any more.  Sometimes letting go of one thing let's you find another. My apologies to "miss thing" and mall make up counter everywhere.......

this is me......

This is so me.....our laundry is endless and sometimes mountainous....and many loads I wash 2 or three times....

a funny...typical...night

The water slide was delivered for the  XC team and Lila's birthday...and there were boys on it as dusk settled in.....it was almost Jack's birthday...he would tun 11 at midnight so I just invited those that were here to stay for a sleepover....

All the girls were out for a night out...dinner and a movie I missed...but at 11 they were dancing and so I made Jack a cake...put it in the oven...and ran up to Drakes to dance a few songs...why not!

I was back in time to ice the cake and decorate it for Jack to have right at midnight!
5-4-3-2-1......Happy Birthday, Jack!!!!

I love making these boys smile!

I just had to blog this night...so typical...a lotta bit for the kids...and a tiny bit for me...but just right for right now!

Mothers Day 2012

I woke up mothers day to these waiting for me! A very happy way to start my day!

and lots of hugs and love from the littles....that first morning hug....when they are warm from sleep..oh it is delicious!

And with rain pouring in buckets outside we nixed our plans to go to the track and decide instead to huddle at home and.....sort socks!

We sorted...and talked...and made piles...but we were all together and I loved it all the same!

For lunch we headed over to see Bumpa and Mamaw to give them our mothers day love!

Can I just tell you how much I love these littles...I mean...I could eat them up....

Heather had just come home form her grandmothers funeral so this was an especially tender mothers day for her...

but it made me even more thankful for yet another mothers day with Charlene Hardy...she is the best of the best!

It was a nice...hang out...relaxing afternoon!

Finally we headed to Gran-Gran's to see her on Mothers day...Lila was just a little excited to give her this flower...just a wee bit as you can tell....

Oh how I love my Moma...she truly makes my life better just by knowing her! I am so lucky to have her so close!

It was a great Mothers Day...truly it was...and I have matching socks and love in my heart to prove it!