It's teacher eve. Tomorrow my Goshen Gators find out their teachers....who they will be spending hours and hours with while they are away from me. It's a big deal and I have had one too many people nonchalantly say to me things like the following...all the teachers are good...it's just a year....why do you worry so much?
Why does it matter to ME.....why do I care so much?
Because my Goshen Gators are my whole world.
My fifth grader is my first born...the one who made me a Moma. He came early and he was big.I pushed that 8 pound baby out after dreaming about him for 9 months. The minute our eyes locked I was a goner...so in love...and fiercely protective of this little one that God had given me...ME..to love and take care of.
You see a 10 year old who works hard at everything he does...is focused and funny....kind and smart. I see a little boy who has come so far from the little boy with no confidence but who still needs reassurance and gentle ways. He needs a teacher to tell him he can and will.... and he will rise to whatever challenges he is given.He needs some one to believe in him...not just a little bit..but in a big way..in way that he feels and knows it without question.
He used to reset himself by taking a quiet moment with his na na and bb....he still needs that reset time just without the blanket and passie now...because he still doubts himself at times. My first born 5th grader needs just the right teacher.
My 3rd grader...well his beginning was rough. See this Moma....I hardly recognize her as me. After 17 hours of labor I was told we were loosing him....they were the most painful...agonizing words I have ever heard spoken....
Emergency C-section...little feet....no crying....praying...praying....God, please let him be ok....
and he was......
I have never been so tired....exhausted to the bone than I was that night...but I was elated and my heart was so full of love for this baby that I almost lost.....
I slept sitting up by his incubator....touching him at all times for 3 nights when we got home as my yellow baby turned back to pink....
You will see an energetic....mildly obnoxious child that is all boy. I see a child who breathes love. Seriously his breath is sweet and I think it;s from all the love he gives. He is the most loving child I know...he has a heart too big for his little body. But he can light up a room with energy and laughter. He is going to talk and make the class laugh...and the teacher will see every time he does...but what she may not see is all the quiet help and encouragement he will give...all the kindness he puts into everything he does. He needs someone to see all of him. He is special...I know this in my bones....I know because I almost lost him. My 3rd grader needs just the right teacher.
My first grader...well she was wanted. Wanted so very much. My pregnancy with her was an emotional roller coaster as we were told she was a boy by a blood test...and a girl by the ultrasound....and then the blood test told me that she may not even be viable when she was born and if she was she would have a lot of genetic problems. I spent nine months praying for contentment with whatever happened the day she was born. It was a hard, heartbreaking 9 months.
But when she was born...she was perfect...perfect in every way...and the little girl that I dreamed about my whole life...a daughter.
She was curious from the moment she was born....
You will see a little girl who is smart and likes to dress herself. You will see kind and friendly. I see a child full of grace and compassion. She is beyond smart and looks at the world in a bold, unique way...always questioning and poised to learn about anything. But she is a little nervous too...she picks her lip when her thoughts overwhelm her...and she likes to be hugged....she needs the hugs. She needs someone to push her as far as she will go academically, but love her fiercely...and remind her gently not to pick at her lip. My first grader needs just the right teacher.
So whose list they are on matters...to me ....in a big way. Every child on "the list" is so much more than a name. I am not saying they won't be fine...they will. Goshen is an amazing school with amazing teachers. But every child is different and so is every teacher. When the stars align and the right teacher and the right student come together magic happens...I have seen it first hand. I have seen fine years and magic years. But when it's your child you want more than fine. I have had fine. I have had amazing...life changing years too. As mothers we just want the best and this teachers eve I pray for the stars to align for amazing...life changing years for my Goshen Gators. So tomorrow we will go and get three names for 3 of my littles. The lists are done and my children are on them. Wish us luck as we start with fresh school years...tomorrow...getting our teachers name is only the beginning! Only time will tell if the stars are aligned. I will be wishing on the stars tonight for sure! :)
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