in the shuffle

Rollins Alexander is one amazing kid. He is pretty good at everything really...so well rounded. He is smart and tries hard at school. He is athletic and excels at running and soccer. He is funny and full of energy and oh so fun to be with! He is kind and a really good friend and always puts others first. He is so good...sometimes he gets lost in the shuffle. He and I will be making something in the kitchen and in the girls come and want to help.....head down he leaves to make room for them.... to make it easier...even if you beg him to stay. He will be cuddled with me on the couch and Lila will say she wants to sit with me and so he gets and finds another spot...even if I try to get him to stay. He makes things too easy sometimes so I guess that is one thing he is not good at...demanding his time. But I just love him so much and I appreciate him so much. On Sunday morning he got up early, as usual, and I heard him so I got up to and asked him on a breakfast date...just the two of us. He chose McDonald's and he sat across from me with his sausage McGriddle, his big sweet tea and his contagious smile....and we talked and laughed and enjoyed our morning. As we packed up our things to leave he said "finally I got to do something with just you and not the girls" which tells me does need this time and these little moments. He gives me so much of his little heart every day...I just want him to feel not only loved but special. I want him to know that he makes my life better just by breathing...that he inspires me to open my heart to life every day.  That I love him differently than the other three...his entrance into the world demanded a piece of my heart to stretch with a scared longing that will always be a part of the love I have for him. I try so hard every day....I guess that is why they say one lifetime is never enough......