too much

Every other thought these days seems to go to my nephew Alex...and my sister. I wonder what I can do for them...what they need..I think about the pain Alex is in and the emotional roller coaster he continues to ride. Lila and I took lunch to Alex and Nana this week. We brought Steak and Shake and Lila was so excited to bring Alex the Oreo Shake . She walked into the hospital proudly holding it.

But when we entered the room and she saw Alex she was unsure....we all are a little unsure and we all just want him to be better...and healed...and happy again. We all just love him so much.

We brought a letter from Rollins and Sarah Kate to hang on the wall too.

My heart just goes out to Alex and this battle he has to fight....and to Nana who has to watch him fight it...as his mother it's just got to be hard...but they are doing it...one day at a time.

I left promising Alex that I would help him plan his Valentines Day for his girlfriend. I had brought him a picture of him and Sara together in a Valentine frame for him to give to her...just as a thank you for your love and support gift...I know he loves her and would want to do be able to do something like that...but right now he just can't. I am trying to put myself in his shoes and help in the ways I think would mean mean the most to him. When I got back in the car...Lila fell asleep...and I just lost it....just cried for Alex.

I wish I could take away his pain and heal him inside and out......