We had my dad down to celebrate his birthday. I know his heart is broken from my brother and I know there is really nothing I can do about it.
As a parent myself...I can't imagine the pain...the heartbreak. As a parent I have been compelled to comfort and heal my children through any pain....big or little....physical or emotional. It's always nice to be comforted at any age I guess. If my grandma Taylor were here she would have comforted with food. Every year for Dad's birthday she made one of his favorites......her Cherry Cheesecake.So that is just what I did...I made her cheese cake...hoping a little bit of Moma's love would somehow be here for his birthday. This little slice of cheese cake gave him a little slice of happiness.
He seemed to really like the gesture...
and I hope he made a wish for peace.....
My relationship with my dad is so different...it's like he is the father to Heath and Brent....but he and I are more like nice neighbors......who live a few streets over...I'm here...and if our paths cross we smile but life seems to go on even if our paths don't cross. It's hard to explain. He doesn't really know me or my life or how my children are my whole world...all of them...all four of them equally. But he did tell me before he left to be sure and not be so busy trying to do it all that I don't enjoy this precious time right now...that it was too late for him...he had already missed out on that time with his kids...and it was a regret he has to live with. I just don't think that way....it's never too late to live Happily Ever After in my world....
I do spend time with my littles...and feel like I soak up every moment I can of their childhood...this is not a spot in my life I feel I will have the regrets he has...but for a moment...it was nice for him to to show me a fatherly gesture...an moment of genuine advice....and I listened and soaked it up even though it didn't really apply to me ....that's how hungry I am for his love.....No amount of cherry cheese cake will make that hunger go away.
So as he got back in his truck and headed home with the rest of the cheese cake I stayed here and had my own afternoon....and afternoons like these...filled with jumping on the bed....love...giggles and tickles....sure fill me up in the most delicious way!
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