a decision

When Jeremy was away in India...it seemed like a really long time. I was here with the kids and he was half way around the world.  What I found is that more than ever I want to be here...and I want to be present...and that as Jeremy stepped away for 2 weeks...I had to be here...and I wanted to be here...and these are my babies...and no one wants to be with them more than me....I think I really get that now. With Jeremy and his new job and Iron man....and with mom so busy with work...and with 4 little kids who are busy with their activities and school and social life...this is not the time for me to go back to school. I long to...and I will....just not today. I'll revisit it next year when SK is in school.....when the boys are another year older and can do more for themselves...when Lila is out of diapers...when Jeremy is an Iron Man and not an Iron man in training. I know with our busy lives..there will never be a perfect time...but I do believe in my heart that there will be a better time.

With that decision made I suddenly find more satisfaction in what I do everyday...not that I was discontent but suddenly things right here in my world are a little more vivid. Tonight I saw beauty and felt a quiet satisfaction as I walked through my own kitchen....pretty much clean....decorated for Easter.... Fresh sweet  tea made for the morning....so cozy and homey as we prepare to settle down for the night...the hum of the dishwasher in the background.....

 and my babies...watching a show in the family room...as they prepare to close their eyes and end this day...and get ready for a new one. I took this picture and then went and told each one I loved them...and I was so proud to be their moma...because that's my job....and for now...and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Daddy is home!

Today was the day.....Jeremy came home from so far away. We prepared the plate and the welcome home cookies!

My first glimpse of him was through the window...and I called to Lila that Daddy was Home!

Jack was the first to get to him.....

and then Lila Ray came running just as fast as her little legs would carry her......

into the arms of her daddy who she had missed so much...and they were both all smiles!

She laid her head on his shoulder...snuggled in...and kept saying Daddy over and over...it was the sweetest thing!

Noon came and we went to pick up SK from preschool...and again his other little girl ran into waiting arms and was so happy to see her daddy...but she was a little more shy about it....so precious.

At 2:20 we went to Goshen to pick up the boys...Rollins' face was priceless as he saw the truck and knew daddy was inside....

Riggs may have stolen the show though...at almost 9...and a boy...you expect him to be the most standoffish...more reserved with his love and excitement....but he was giddy with happiness to see his daddy and snuggled in just like Lila......it literally melted my heart.

It was so good to have him home. So good to have him home.  He went to sleep at 5:30 and he never woke up until the morning but he was home and we were Happy!

Everytime

Everytime the garage door goes up and I see Jeremy's car sitting there...I think for a second that he is home......everytime.

Lucky

We all miss Jeremy very much...a week into it...it's just strange not waiting for him to pull in the garage every night...or just to be here...present. It's so odd not to be able to pick up the phone and call him whenever we want...and for him to be so far away. Being in India for this time he has seen how lucky we are to live in America and to have this life that we do. And we are lucky...no doubt...to live this life but we are also very lucky to know and love Dr. Mehta. Without Dr. Mehta Jeremy would not have had this opportunity to know India...and from this know Dr. Mehta even better. He would never have gone to an orphanage in a third world country and gained the perspective he has gained about his life...our life. We are lucky to have Dr.Mehta in our lives....he is kind, and good and Jeremy thinks the world of him...we all do. I am so thankful their relationship....we love the Mehtas like family for all they have brought into our lives.

Daddy called!

The kids hadn't talked to Jeremy for days. He has called but with the time change it seems like his calls fall when they are in school or asleep, but tonight as we were settling down for bed he called and got to talk to them. I know they loved hearing his voice and I know it did wonders for Jeremy to hear them!

 I was a little nervous about Lila....she has a mind of her own and was really into playing pretend as her turn approached....I wanted her to talk to Jeremy so much. He had called before when she was with me but would not talk to him....so I held my breath as I handed her the phone....

 And she didn't say much...but Hi Daddy and I love you was probably all he needed to hear....

Mars needs Moms

With Jeremy gone...and that sitting in for us all...I wanted to do something fun with the kids...so Saturday night we headed off to the movies to see Mars needs Moms.  The movie was great and everyone enjoyed it...even little Lila sat through the whole thing!

 After seeing a movie about outer space...we rode home under a beautiful, full moon that was special as it was closer to the Earth than usual. I hope you took a moment to notice it...it was spectacular! And it is always comforting to know that even half way around the world...we all see the same moon...in the same sky...even daddy who is far, far away in India.

Goodbye hugs

It was beautiful this morning...a little cool but the sun was shining and promising a warm day later. The kids played outside as I got last minute things together before we headed off to soccer. They were carefree and clueless to the heavy hearts that watched them from the kitchen windows. Jeremy and I both knew when we headed off to soccer and said our goodbyes it would be the cover goodbye...the we are headed to soccer see you later goodbye...knowing later would be knocking on two weeks. I am not good at goodbyes. I never have been and I knew I had to drive...safely...to soccer so this was how the goodbye would have to be. I called them in from the yard to say goodbye to daddy and get loaded in the truck.....and we did the best we could....but it was hard....it hurt....

 Jeremy couldn't make eye contact with me nor I with him...and that included looking at the camera....

 I don't think I looked at him at all except through the camera lens....I gave him a quick hug and told him I would talk to him later. I loaded them up...backed out of the drive way...put on Pink's Perfect and turned it up really loud...and the kids and I sang and the whole way to soccer. I had tears in my eyes...behind my sunglasses...but I kept it together...pretending daddy would be waiting for us when we got home.