in the blink.....

We were enjoying the glow of Sarah Kate's birthday party...all wrapped up in what she was going to buy with her gift card to Club Tabby...it was light and happy....I remember I was worried about getting home soon so I could get dinner started...I wanted to make a nice dinner for Jason, Tonya and Sydney...like a mini Thanksgiving for them.  And then in a blink it all changed.......

I was paying for Sarah Kate's things when my I felt something crushing down on my arm...it was Jenna's hand. She was screaming....and everything she said ended with D.......Braden is having a seizure, D.......Do something, D....help me, D.  I dropped my wallet, camera, and phone. They fell to the floor and in a blink I was huddled with Brad and Jenna over Braden.  Brad was saying Oh God...and was kneeling. This man who can not bend his knee to save his life was on his knees. Braden was shaking....Brad and Jenna were screaming....and crying.  It was surreal as I looked around at the chaos of what was happening and the agony on the faces of these people I love with all my heart. I grew calm and I guess God took over....in hind site I don't know how else to explain it.  I was able to get my sweater off and under his head.....count slowly as we counted to be sure the seizure did not reach 3 minutes...I called Jenna's brother, Jenna's mom, and answered all the questions that EMS was asking on the phone. I prayed over Braden out loud.  I did all this with one hand on Braden and one hand on Jenna. All of this happened in 57 seconds....the number of seconds he shook from the time I started counting.  

He shook and he shook...this child I love so much...and then he stopped and was still...

It seems like forever until he came back to us. He laid there coming in and out.... in his John Wall hoodie I bought him for Christmas last year...and in his John Wall basketball shoes I bought him for his birthday this year...and I remember thinking to myself...between the hoodie and the shoes, and the prayer and love...I've got you covered, Sweet boy....I've got you covered.  When he finally came to he asked Jenna why she left him...and I thought my heart was going to break into a million pieces. She  had never left his side....

As the EMS arrived I stood and was released from the clutches of the floor...it was as if I had been stuck like a magnet to that spot. It was then that I found my camera and snapped this....it hurts to look at it...Sweet Braden laying there on my sweater...Jenna crouched over her whole world...and Brad's face full of shock and hurt. But it is a moment that happened...it was real and I will never forget it. 

I told Jenna I loved her....gathered her things in her purse and watched as  they wheeled him out of the store....following behind the stretcher was Rollins...head hanging down and full of worry. He had tears in his eyes through this whole moment in time but he never lost it...and was strong for Braden.  This was the first time any of us had experienced Braden having a seizure....the first time for all of us.... but Rollins. He had been here before. He is such a precious boy, my Rollins....precious and strong. Stronger than I ever realized.  We were all devastated. It was so hard to watch our best friends go through that painful moment. But it's times like this that draw you closer...seal the precious bonds even more....and make you feel even more connected than you ever thought possible.

Back at home I no longer worried about cooking dinner.  My thoughts and my heart still with the Timmerings. We ordered in and mostly ate out of Styrofoam containers and plastic cups...but we were all together and we gave thanks and that is what it's all about....family and love....the rest are just details.

This will be a Thanksgiving I will never forget. In the days that followed I replayed those moments over and over...they stayed with me...and I think they always will. Jenna and I talked about it over and over as we heal and learn from what happened. In the blink of an eye......It can all change in a blink....so be kind...fill your life with love....and be thankful for all you have in this moment....in this moment right now.